Dating Etiquette: Navigating Online/Offline Relationships for Respectful Dating
Depending on how you look at things, dating has never been easier (or harder). Take it from me. In years past, I would need to venture all the way out of the woods just hoping to meet somebody, let alone date them! Now all that I need to do is pull out my cellphone and increase my search radius! Fortunately, one of the few benefits of the coronavirus pandemic is that it has made meeting people and starting relationships easier than ever before. Yet, with this uncharted territory, many of us are unfamiliar with dating etiquette.
Online dating etiquette and offline dating etiquette both refer to the unofficial rules of entering a new relationship. For example, you might be surprised that some people are not aware that it’s considered rude to spend your entire date swiping right on other potential matches on Tinder. While some of these tips come across as common sense to you, others may not know the ins and outs of one of the fundamental building blocks of relationships: dating.
To make sure that you don’t commit any of these respectful dating faux pas, we decided to cover the basics of dating etiquette (for online and offline dating). These apply in all scenarios, but especially in a world where most of us are meeting virtually.
Be Upfront About Your Intentions
Some of us head to online dating in search of our soulmate. Studies have even proven that couples that come from Tinder are more likely to last! Though, we aren’t all heading straight to the app for the same thing. Plenty of us are seeking true love, while others are only out there for a few fun conversations. This kind of awkward encounter can be avoided by simply stating your intentions upfront!
Are you using online dating? Throw something as simple as “looking for something casual/serious/up for anything” in your bio. And if somebody else has the opposite written in theirs, swipe left! You may even want to consider shared intentions to be a dealbreaker for you. If they aren’t on the same page, then don’t bother wasting your time (or theirs).
If you’re meeting somebody the pre-COVID way, a.k.a. at in-person events or through mutual friends, then it can be a little bit more awkward squeezing this piece of information into the conversation. However uncomfortable it may be, it is important to get it out there! Be honest, upfront, and willing to discuss the future as needed.
Be On Time
It doesn’t matter if you’re meeting up at a fancy restaurant under time-sensitive reservations or logging on to a Zoom call for a casual night watching Netflix together. Being on time is one of the easiest parts of a budding relationship and respecting this is a crucial part of respectful dating and dating etiquette.
Most of us don’t think twice when our prospective partners are on time, but it can mean a world of difference if they aren’t. One dating and relationship coach, Susan McCord, suggested in an article that anything more than 20 minutes without an explanation and apology is grounds for canceling the date (before it even begins!)
We get that sometimes life can get in the way of our perfect schedule. If you’re running behind because of traffic, a slow internet connection, or a mistake in your planning routine, then you should let the other person know right away. Try to give them a heads-up before the date was scheduled to start and be honest about your reasoning. And respect is a two-way street, so be sure to mirror their understanding if they are the one running late next time!
Look The Part
Looks aren’t everything in the world of dating. Still, we can’t
deny that first impressions are important. We don’t suggest that you spend hours getting ready for every date, but it is important to devote some time to looking well-groomed and ready for the night. Putting some effort into your clothing, whether they’ll be seeing it virtually or in-person, signals to your date that you’re willing to put in the effort for them.
In addition to presenting yourself as someone willing to put in a little bit of effort,
researchers have discovered that the way we dress influences the way that we feel. Dressing the part may be great advice for dating etiquette, but it is also a simple way to increase your confidence while meeting new people!
Do An Equal Share of the Planning
Planning dates is a fun venture for some of us. For others, it’s not worth the time. No matter what your preferences are, planning all your dates can become exhausting.
Paying attention to who is coming up with all the date-night ideas is a simple rule of dating etiquette that often goes overlooked. So, start doing it! Take note of how equal the idea sharing is and do your best to balance the scales. Is your partner the one suggesting your weekly date night routine? Start your next conversation by suggesting your own ideas!
Evidence suggests that coming forward with more plans helps show your confidence and assertiveness, both of which are highly rated qualities in prospective partners. Practicing this dating etiquette rule will make you a better choice for a second date while also encouraging you to be creative!
A lot of the discourse on proper dating etiquette focuses on gendered differences. Yet, when you get down to the basics of respectful dating, the rules go the same way, regardless of your identity (they even apply to us sasquatches!) We should all strive to do better at being on time, coming to a date with a fresh pair of jeans, and being open to honest communication. If you follow our rules on basic dating etiquette, you will be sure to impress your next match!